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Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder

The National Institute of Mental Health defines borderline personality disorder as “a serious mental disorder marked by a pattern of ongoing instability in moods, behavior, self-image and functioning.”1

People with borderline personality disorder struggle with impulse control and have difficulty maintaining healthy relationships. This may be due in part to the emotional highs and lows that bring on intense anger, depression and anxiety. These intense feelings can last for a few hours or a few days. People with borderline personality disorder often struggle with other mental illnesses such as mood, anxiety and eating disorders. This can result in high rates of substance abuse, self harm, and suicidal thoughts and actions.

If you suspect a loved one struggles with borderline personality disorder, look for the following additional symptoms as identified by The National Institute of Mental Health:2

  • Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
  • A pattern of intense and unstable relationships with family, friends, and loved ones, often swinging from extreme closeness and love (idealization) to extreme dislike or anger (devaluation)
  • Distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self
  • Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating
  • Recurring suicidal behaviors or threats or self-harming behavior, such as cutting
  • Intense and highly changeable moods, with each episode lasting from a few hours to a few days
  • Chronic feelings of emptiness
  • Inappropriate, intense anger or problems controlling anger
  • Having stress-related paranoid thoughts
  • Having severe dissociative symptoms, such as feeling cut off from oneself, observing oneself from outside the body or losing touch with reality

What Borderline Personality Disorder Feels Like

Couple having serious discussionWhen a person struggles with borderline personality disorder, relationships become very difficult to maintain. When you have this disorder and you meet someone who expresses interest in you and is someone you trust, you may feel inclined to eagerly jump into a relationship with that person. Soon, that person is not there for you as often or as frequently as you would actually like. You feel betrayed, or sense that others have developed a negative impression of you. Others may tell you that a loved one’s absence or inattention means nothing about your character, but you may still feel a great deal of pain or anxiety. It can be difficult to put these factors all into perspective and realize that others do not see you as negatively as you may imagine. When this happens, you may become discouraged and say goodbye to valuable friendships. This pattern can lead to very unhappy feelings.

Borderline personality disorder leads those who struggle to define themselves as being bad or evil. You may have moments when feel like you do not exist, or like it would be better if you did not exist. Some people who think these thoughts for too long decide to harm themselves, get into car accidents, or binge-eat, and they deeply regret it later. If you have these kinds of thoughts, it’s time to reach out for help.

Individuals with borderline personality disorder describe feeling empty or bored, and that life has no meaning.3 Staying busy is a good thing, but doing something productive or entertaining all of the time in order to make life meaningful can cause stress. Spending time alone thinking about good and positive things is healthy and helps calm feelings of anger. This skill takes practice. The right treatment can help you learn to be happy during times when you are alone.

Help for Borderline Personality Disorder

If you or a loved one has any of these symptoms, you may be suffering from borderline personality disorder. Borderline personality disorder can be treated in ways that will bring balance and greater freedom from all of these negative emotions. Our admissions coordinators are available 24 hours a day to answer your questions about available treatment options. You are not alone. Call us now.


1 “Borderline Personality Disorder.” National Institute of Mental Health. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Web. Accessed 27 June 2017.

2 Ibid.

3 “Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).” Borderline Personality Disorder: A Guide to Symptoms, Treatment, and Recovery. Web. Accessed 27 June 2017.

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